Lest you feel the need to make lame jokes about the state of my liver, please understand: I only vaguely resemble the girl at the end of the bar drinking directly from the pitcher. The real me never succumbs to such juvenile forms of recreation.
That's because the real me is on vacation in Laos right now.
That girl, she hasn't had a vacation in a very looooong time. No sir. She does have a mortgage, and is quite fortunate to have a job in this soul-witheringly bleak economy. She even has a day off from work this Friday, and may have the chance to briefly retreat. But blame it on her lifelong wanderlust and those tempting deals in the back of Budget Travel...today she wants to sell all of her worldly possessions and be on a plane and over the ocean.
So if you see that girl, my doppelganger, why not offer her some steak-cut fries to go with her beverages? Or better yet, some of your frequent-flyer miles? Pretty please????
